Finally: Korinth

Recap: Having acquired the feather from that rando lady aka: Athena 4 real, nobody can convince me otherwise, it is now time to see what is the next quest on the agenda! I am off to the Porneion district in Korinth to visit some hetaerae as instructed. Anthousa is my contact, so let’s go find her! I immediately stumble into a nearby pyre and catch myself aflame, because I am super good at this game.

  Korinth isn’t too far away, and their flag is a Pegasus! I think it’s going to be easy to find her, but alas—the hetaerae aren’t in the Porneion district after all.

Next, I talk to some horny dude, and he tells me that they have made themselves scarce because some dude named “Monger” and his army are loitering about. Looks like I’m going to have to defeat a dude, but lets check the rest of the clues. Next I find some scaredy cat who tells me more about how the Hetaerae were pushed out of the market by he who shall not be named. 

Finally a woman to talk to, maybe she’ll be more helpful. She just wants to err— sell me her wares, but does indeed tell me where I might be able to find Anthousa! Possibly she is at the temple of Aphrodite, because they have clients there. I will check there first.

 I find this temple through pure happenstance whilst clearing locations. The guards chase me all the way up a mountain after I get caught looting. Thank you, guards!

A Simple Favour

I stop off at an exclamation point and pick up a quest, and LO! It is Alkibiades there to assign me dubious package delivering tasks and make sex puns at me. Of course I will deliver the package, Ace. Winkity wink. 

We comment on the size of this box I am to deliver and he tells me that big things can come in small packages sometimes. I get stonewalled with the rest of my questions. No, I can’t know about the guy who gave this package to Alkibiades in the first place or what it is. Why can’t Ace or the OG guy who gave him the package deliver it? It’s just a chain of favors and I’m the last link apparently. I also learn that Alkibiades’s favorite Hetaerae and/or his favorite port of call changes based on his mood. And that is all we get to discuss for now. 

I have Anthousa to find and a tiny package to deliver.

Okay, I’m delivering it to a guy near a fort in the name of Diodoros. It’s absolutely, definitely, totally NOT from Alkibiades. Nope. Lol, I have a feeling Ace over here is 1000% setting this Diodoros dude up somehow. Haha, Let’s go find out! 

I’m sorry Anthousa, but my curiosity is piqued. Consulting the map to select the newly acquired quest, I discovered that I have completed the cave quest! I guess I’ll also go collect that reward, but first to synchronize this location so I don’t have to walk back here again!

A quick fast travel back to Phokis to complete this quest and score a buttload of XPs! Nice.

 Back to Aphrodite’s temple now!

Okay, so the “Monger” is hassling people at the temple now, so the Hetaerae have moved on to somewhere else. Basically this guy is giving everyone the shakedown. He’s after the Hetaerae because they rake in the dough and he wants a piece of the action. This is why they are in hiding, so I guess I’m going to take the monger down.

Time to deliver the package, then visit Anthousa at her possibly new hiding place, possibly place that she has already fled leaving some other lady to tell me about her possible whereabouts. 

So, I have to infiltrate a damn fort to get this package in and deliver it to a general—and it is a, well, I’ll let Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg explain:

So, it’s not an actual dick in a box, it’ is a casting of one and it comes with a note: “For when your wife starts to miss me” Hahaha, but also, thank you for sending me into a heavily guarded outpost for THIS, Ace. 

Well, A: I’m not going to sell Alkibiades out obviously, but B: This dude in front of me is probably going to waste Diodoros if I say its’ from him. I could say it’s from me which would be hilarious, but I don’t know— This can’t possibly be part of some brilliant military stratagem can it? I take a while to think it over, and just end up doing what Alkibiades told me to do. Like, I don’t want to be on his bad side, for real. The last thing I need is someone sending my enemies handcrafted artisanal dildos when he decides I’m not useful anymore. 

Anyway, the package recipient whose name I don’t remember threatens to end Diodoros. Him and his little army too as I suspected. Huh. Maybe it IS part of a brilliant military stratagem after all? At least that’s what Ace more or less tells me when I find him in Aphrodite’s temple. He wanted to get Diodoros out of the way and this seemed to work a treat. Now that is done, so it’s time for more egregious flirting. He wants to know did Alexios like what he saw? About the casting—which was his doing of course as if there were any doubt in the first place. I’m on to your ways, friend!  Also, he’s into doing it right here in the temple… I mean, if we’re going to defile a temple then I guess we could do worse than Aphrodite’s.

I can’t think of a reason not to this time. There are no goats anywhere nearby. Flash-forward to tomorrow, Ace has bid me adieu with hope for an encore performance at some future point, and it is now time to visit Anthousa!

Finding the Hetarae

I find her at the fountain and surprise Phoibe is here! Alexios is not enthused about this turn of events. She is just here to relay to Anthousa that I am coming, an “emissary” if you will. I let her tag along for a while, but when I start asking about my mom, Myrrine and Phoibe starts in about how I’m a sad orphan raised by Markus of the bad ideas on nowhere island, I send her away to play. She’s annoyed, but I don’t want her to get hurt or reveal all my secrets!

Anthousa might know something, but first I have to help her and the girls with their little Monger problem. 

I finish up the fort location instead of the Monger quest, and I find that I have somehow picked up a huntress quest. For once I get to visit a huntress camp without getting besieged by bears. This one was super easy, because I already just took care of the captain that was hassling these ladies and the quest is finished before it even started! I’m all for easy XPs! 

Now, onto the Monger problem.

The Torture Room

The first part of this quest is to find out why one of the ladies, Damalis’s, clients has been acting strangely. Probably the Monger put him up to it, possibly by kidnapping his family or something. Let’s go find out! 

Phoibe has followed me, I try to be nice, but honestly her inserting herself into these proceedings is worrisome to say the least. I mean, I don’t have an easy time avoiding stabby bandits myself, but I’m sure the game has concrete plans for her that are unavoidable anyway, which I have magically not been spoiled about. I mean, I’ve been playing this game for a thousand years now it’s a miracle I don’t know all its secrets already.

In any case, we team up and Phoibe tells me about things she overheard. This dude is having a meeting at a pig farm about some land and is supposed to bring Damalis there also I find out. While I’m distracting him with this info I know courtesy of my girl Phoibe, she breaks in and steals a bunch of clues. I sat there and listened to the guy blabbering for forgiveness at me, but I’m still not quite sure what the Monger has on this him that he’s acting the fool and willing to betray Damalis, whom he claims to love. It’s time to find some more clues!

We head to a house that was in the letter Phoibe stole. I find some bloody pots, a secret room, a lock of hair that somehow Alexios knows by smell. Though he can’t quite place it. Oh, and a wall with a creepy manacle attached to it and also casts of faces and breasts — So, the Monger has a creepy torture sex dungeon. Gross. Just in time, one of the Monger’s lackeys arrives to call me a prude explain it to me in case I didn’t figure it out from the clues. Bro, it’s more the kidnapping people and holding them against their will that’s the evil of it, not my prudish ways. Ugh. In any case, he has caught Phoibe, but she escapes with Alexios’s help. 

I head back to Damalis to give her the bad news and chastise Phoibe for not listening to instructions. Anyway, Damalis is grateful and now knows what to steer clear of RE: the Monger’s plans. Also, I level up! Time to spend some ability points!

One thought before we move on— Whose familiar lock of hair was that in the Monger’s lair? Do I know someone he kidnapped???? IS HE someone I know? Alkibiades? Herodotus? Sokrates? Yikes. For now, all we can do is move on and help the rest of the hetaerae.

Come Sail Away

A woman named Erinna has misplaced her friend Kleio. The only clue we have to go on is that some guy saw her get on a boat. I spend bunch of time sinking this pirate boat only to find out that Kleio was the one who hired them. It was not an abduction, she was running away from the Monger. To Mykanos. Heh. Good thing I already took care of the tyrant on that island. Well, in any case, I agree to take her there. I’m certainly not going to force her back to Korinth if she doesn’t want to be there. I head back to give Erinna the good news. She’s super sad that her friend is gone, and makes me promise that she’s safe.

Sure thing! She’s with my girl Kyra and my bro Thaletas now. 

Taking Down the Monger

My next quest in this area is called “lawless port” or something and I wander blindly towards the gold diamond only to find that it’s right in the Monger’s warehouse. I have to hide in the bushes until the guard goes away so I can plot my strategy. Apparently I am supposed to burn down the warehouse. 

Good, eff this Monger dude. I see some people tied up in there and I free them before I start any fires. As I do the deed and attract more guards all of a sudden — A cut scene! Some dude with a Spartan shield comes in to save the day! Yas! I don’t have to beat all these guys! Am I supposed to know this dude? Was it his hair? 

After we beat all the baddies together I learn that his name is Brasidas and I do not know him after all. He wants to deal with the Monger on the DL, because of blablabla politics. (Sparta is Allied with Kornithia, if the take out the main guy in public that’s bad for business.) I get the choice to help him or stick with Anthousa. TBH, my first inclination is Brasidas’s hush, hush option, so lets do that. Mainly because I don’t even remember what Anthousa’s plan was. I already helped out her friends. 

Anyway, after that’s all decided I spill all my family secrets to Rando McSpartan over here. He knows Myrrine, and my not dad— who I say I haven’t seen him since the whole cliff throwing incident but… who the fuck did I meet on that first beach I landed on? Wolf of Sparta? That was Nikolaos, my Spartan dad, right? Who is still not dead? I let him live, because fuck the Serpent. Why am I lying to Brasidas? or is this game so long that even the writers forgot what happened in the beginning??? (I have no choice in the dialog options here, so I’m not actually choosing to be cagey about it. I am very confused, game.) The exit to this convo is to tell Brasidas I’m not dwelling on the past, so let’s not. We have Mongers to eliminate. 

As expected Anthousa is not pleased with my decision making. And after she arranged a whole viewing party for the Monger’s execution and everything. I head off to do the deed and as I’m passing through the market I get a notice that there is a cultist clue nearby! Cool! I send Ikaros flying, but there’s nothing there. Searching doesn’t help either. With the help of the internets I find out that I have to buy the clue from the Blacksmith. This clue tells me that the deserter Pallas is the cultist and I can find him in Achia. But that will have to wait! I also discover that I have a bunch of dudes I can unmask, but I haven’t bothered to, so I do that. Now the map shows me exactly where they are! Heh. Why have I been making this quest much harder than it had to be?

I am back in the sacred cave—the cave the ended my cave quest. Good news, the Monger thinks I’m a demi-god also, and I definitely don’t know him. Shit, though—he knows my mom? Was it her hair???? We get a flashback to him manhalding her because she had the gal to stand up to him. This guy is attacking my mom, kidnapping people, and being a general devil. Also, he is confirmed to be a cultist! It’s time to end him! 

Anthousa shows up just at the end of the fight to try to convince me to do this one last time in public so the people can see his cowardice. I mean, I don’t know if dragging an already beaten up man in for a public execution gets that message across at this point. Who doesn’t show up? Brasidas. I thought he was supposed to be helping me! In any case, I’m not doing that. Goodbye, Monger. I’ll take my golden triangle. I think I only need three more to upgrade the spear now! 

The End

Later, Anthousa, is not quite as steamed at me as she was at first. She thanks me, and ‘for once’ thanks to Alkibiades. We share a chuckle over him and his wily ways  and she tells me about my mom. She was a friend, but Myrrine wasn’t happy there in Korinth.

Here’s the points of interest: She left Spart, because—you know the attempted child murder. She was heartbroken. Anthousa gave her shelter after finding her in the streets. She looked to the sea, clearly she was restless in Korinthia, and she never told anybody anything about her past or where she was going. The only clue I get is that dear old Mom got on a ship called the Siren Song, known for her ability to weather anything Poseidon could throw her way. 

We bid each other adieu and Anthousa promises to keep me up to date on Korinthia’s happenings.

We are back! Not months and months later for once! Right now, I am questless, so it’s time to search out some more exclamation points and question marks! I find a temple of Posiden which is right next to some dudes practicing thier long jump, which is more like a hop. Are they training for the Olympics perhaps?  I also find the wreck of the Argo in this area. You know, the ship Jason piloted. I do not find any golden fleeces here, just the guard that is chasing me around. After I collect all the treasure from Posiden’s temple, I run directly into the neighboring bandit camp.

Pause. Why are bandit’s setting up camp mere feet from a guard filled temple??? Well, these bold bandit’s team up with the guard’s chasing me, and it’s all a recipe for desyncronization. It doesn’t help that I keep hitting the button for calling Ikaros instead of the one for my sword. On the second go round, I’m succeeding, but trying not to kill any precious attack doggos. Luckily I don’t have to, because a wolf shows up to dispatch half the bandit camp and thier little dogs too. Thank you, wild doggo.

Just as I reach Korinth and some person in a camp with a timed quest—I open the quest screen to discover that I am not done with the brother’s post-quest meetups. Tim also wants to meet me apparently. Well, he should have said so with words instead of sidelong glances. I guess we can do a quick backtrack and “spar” with him. Hopefully that is not some sort of double entendre, but I also learn that thier questline is called A Brother’s Seduction, so— 

Before I have to fight anybody, even if it ends up being romantic fighting, the game beseeches me to please! please! replace my gear with better stuff from my inventory, so let’s do that. Then, I have to steal a fishing boat with a bunch of sharks strapped to it, Old Man and the Sea style, because Tim is on some rocks in the middle of the water.

Okay, well, I can do hearts dialogue with this guy too, but I do not choose that, since I already did with Lykinos and it just doesn’t feel right. We’re just going to fight instead! The backstory here is that he used to spar with his dad on this rock out in the ocean, and he still comes there to be sad. He doesn’t seem to actually want to spar, so we’ll see how this goes.

Update!: So he has PTSD for sure. After Alexios beats him in the sparring match, he is clearly having flashbacks to some sort of trauma. He thinks he is going to lose control and murder me, and — Oh, god — timed choices. Crapness. Does it even matter, or am I going to truly cock thins up if I pick the wrong ones? I end up talking him down from the ledge in any case.

 We get to also have a heart to heart. Turns out he did once lose control and murder a fellow during battle. Yikes, dude. That was why he was discharged from the army. He hid this from his dad, so he could make him proud. I comfort him until he feels better and then we stare stoically into the sunset, thinkin’ about all the murder we’ve perpetrated I presume.

After this, the game informs me that I should check up on the bros back at their house, so I guess we’ll do that. I get back on the sharkboat and paddle my way back to shore. When I get there , the place is trashed and Lykinos is crying in a corner. Dammit. The bandits abducted Tim. I have to go rescue him now! 

Seriously, eff these bandits. They’re all going down! You want money, so leave all the money on the table and steal Tim?? 

Off I go to a new area of the map and the bandits are holed up in some giant fortress. I run around getting them all first, because I learned the hard way that they’ll just kill the prisoners that you free if you let them out before all the bandits are gone. 

Hey, remember when I was wondering if there was a bigger loan shark? I found him. The actual bandit leader, not all the guys I just assassinated shows up. As it turns out, dear old dad was not only hitting up the loan sharks, but he was working for them as a smuggler too. One time he took money from them for gambling and they killed him for it. They never got the money back, so that’s why they’re hassling my boys. I should probably just stab these shady ne’er do wells , but instead I pay for the debts myself!

When I let Tim out, he doesn’t want to go because there are still bandits??? Some of the dudes I let out of cages are running around and they kill the last one that I didn’t find right as I arrive, and finally we get a cut scene of Alexios calming Tim down.

I head back to Korinthia, stopping to defeat a huntress camp and to see what quests I have in the queue already, I find one about helping a captain on a beach, so I head off in that direction. Along the way I learn that Alexios thinks carrying boats over land is a dumb idea. Clearly he and Fitzcarraldo have wildly different opinions on this.  I arrive at the handsome pirate’s shore. Let’s see what he has going on.

Here’s the story… Soldiers have been taking out pirates. Obviously, I am on the side of the pirates in thi situation somehow. Cool. Well, anyway, this dude’s brother went out to take on the military and didn’t come back. I choose the cagey option when I reveal I know he got eaten by sharks. I don’t tell him that I visited his bro’s grave. (This is one of the graves I went to when that lady asked me her obtuse riddle last time.) This guy’s new plan is to build an unsinkable ship that surely the army won’t be able to defeat and thus his village will be saved.

Is his villiage the boat? Like—I’m pretty sure if the military wanted to exact revenge or something, they could just burn the village to the ground? His pirate crew cannot possibly be big enough to take on the entire Athenian navy? That’s neither here nor there. I’m just here to gather supplies! I have to collect only Olive wood, which I already have because I walk or swim everywhere and pick up everything along the way. (Sorry, Phobos! I love you, good horse-o, but I always forget you exist!)

Next I have to go get a protective eye from a shipwreck—If the eye is protective, then how come it’s in a shipwreck? Oh, well. Who am I to question lucky charms. Off we swim!

Okay, the eye was on pirate guy’s old ship. He’s sad about how the pirate ways led to such death, and Alexios advises him that maybe he could use Titanic II for other things besides piracy. He agrees and pays me the last of the pirate treasure for good measure. Alright!

Now, I learn that this dude was part of that old lady’s riddle quest. Why do these quest lines keep making me think I’m finished when I’m not? I supposed I’ll return to her and help the guy who’s brother got eaten by a lion? Let’s find out! Who is this woman??? IS she a goddess? She’s sending me to a volcano island now, and is curious to know about what my gathering wood and advising the dude to quit piracy says about my character. I mean, I’ll do it, because she’s behaving suspiciously witch/godlike. I mean, the prince got turned into a beast because he didn’t help the old lady in disguise, right? Volcano island it is!

But first, I have to retrieve a key from a graveyard hermit, because this quest has something to do with this lady’s locked vault. I return to the graveyard to meet the hermit, and he is also a weird duck. A weird duck who doesn’t have the key. He left it on a guarded island somewhere. Gee, thanks. I guess it’s time for a swim. Or not. It’s far enough away that I have to find a dock and call Barny. 

As it turns out, this thing is guarded by lions. Is this the test? and not volcano island? Well, it is a location that requires me to kill the alpha lion so— I shoot them all accidentally with knockout arrows because I forgot I used up all the pointy ones. As it turns out, taming the alpha animal will also clear the location, so now I have a lion friend for as long as it takes me to get back to my boat I guess. 

OMG. He came with me! Lol, I return to the old lady and lion friend materializes out of nowhere. Surprise, lady! I brought one with me! He’s off to go fight the guards that were chasing me, so I’m afraid he wont be long for this world after all. Alas.

I return the key and learn that I am going to Haephestus’s foundry to find a helmet and not a volcano…thought I guess it could also be a volcano. I am ready as I’ll ever be, lady! Let’s do it! 

Today I do Everything Twice

OK, so, Murdery VonTaxation’s name is actually Podarkes, and no, I have not deposed him yet. I’m still helping Kyra with that, and I will now spell her name correctly! Her plan is to steal the national treasure and weaken his forces. She takes me to the fort where the treasure is and I employ the tried and true method of being instantly discovered, and getting attacked by everybody including three random mercenaries who show up for my bounty while opening treasure chests on the run.

 As it turns out Podarkes has squandered the entire national treasure, which I guess is all the money he’s collected from his taxpaying citizens. She gives me some promised money for my services, but not without an option for flirting, which eh…give me the money instead. I presume I am going to help Kyra further with this Podarkes problem later, but first! I find the Spartan leader, Thaletas giving rousing speeches to his troops. I don’t remember who he is, but the dialogue tells me that he has terrible plans, and judging by his tiny braid, is possibly a jedi in training. He needs my help to clear some Athenian ships. So, I head back to my little used crew and make short work of them. I do get chased by a pirate ship I accidentally bumped into, but eventually they leave me alone and I can dock to see what Thaletas has for me. I also can flirt with him, but I don’t particularly like him, so forget about that. Onward!

Yo! Checking up with my last update and I now realize that I have entirely skipped out on that mission to get Hippos… or did I? Is it on my list? Let us check the fabled menu—

 It is not. Did I—did I ever find him? I am just entirely baffled by this now. I suppose we just march on and see if anything comes of it. Apologies to my man, Sokrates, if I failed him! As for my current status, Thaletas has even more quests for me to go on now that I’ve sunken some ships. I apparently have options to sink more ships, I guess to curry more favor with the Spartans, but I don’t particularly feel like getting back on the boat at this moment. Instead Thal and I conspire to remove some Athenian commanders. 

I get to the first guy, who is at a location where I already killed everybody to completion, but he has regenerated for this quest I suppose and is standing right in front of some tall grass, which is great for sneaking! Unfortunately I keep forgetting to go and upgrade my weapons before I start doing more quests, so he doesn’t go down with one stab. I am lucky that none of his comrades even notice us fighting until I finish the job, so I can just run away from them. 

On the way to the next guy, I remember that I have the ability to tame creatures, so I find a lion and she is my new friend. We go and attack the next guy at a quarry, but I go back after I end the commander because the other guys keep attacking my poor lion. This is a mistake, because I die at this point.  I am tired now, so it is sleep time. Will my autosave be before or after the quarry commander? —

Update: BEFORE. Damn. Also, my pet lion is now untamed and attacking my ass. ~runs away to regroup~

So, forget lions, let’s go upgrade my daggers and get this quarry guy!

JK, I do not have enough resources for this. All my goat pelts have finally been exhausted! Oh, well. I guess we’ll just have to get the remaining commanders without upgrades! Let us forge ahead. 

I finally do away with commander #2 with the help of my lion friend, who I have re-tamed. Sadly, she ends up on the wrong end of some other guards’ pointy sticks. As for these commanders, they both have orders to kill commander #3 for desertion. Hmmm. Since he’s not kicking it with the Athenians anymore, maybe I won’t have to kill him?

He is on a nice farm in the Kynthos HIlls. 

For a moment I think he’s in a nearby cave, which he is not. He really is on a farm. Not because he’s hiding out in peace, but because the Athenians have taken it over and he’s captured. I go in there and rescue him, Neokles is his name. Turns out he’s not down with the army anymore. Doesn’t agree with how they’re doing things these days. I give him sanctuary on my ship and somehow earn an achievement! Maybe it has something to do with him being a gold background (legendary) square. 

Yes, it does. After much consternation trying to sign back into my Playstation account, I find it is a trophy for recruiting a legendary character! Yay, me! I would have assumed such a task would have been much more difficult than that. I guess being nice pays off sometimes. 

I guess we go back to Thaletas now.

Not really, I get distracted by a mystery island between Mykanos and Delos, so I swim on out there sans boat, because I cannot find one. Of course it is full of cultists and not treasures. Darn. Also, this dual wielding dagger lady keeps appearing out of nowhere to destroy me, so we’ll just pass that dumb island up for now and get back on course instead. 

Thaletas is for some reason not on the beach, and I find out he’s just roaming around in the city because the Athenians don’t want to attack anybody near their sacred temples, so he’s just being a dick about it. I am not flirting with him for a second time, and also let’s not tell him that one of those commanders is working for me now. Still, he has something he wants to show me on the beach later. “Look for the smoke”… I am definitely getting vibes from him right now. Um….

Let’s get to it right away and not keep me in suspense (if I don’t get distracted by cult island again). I have realized that the reason I don’t always get a spot on the map to go to and just get vague directions is because that is the setting I chose when I started the game. I guess I will just head to the beachiest area of the island and look for the smoke signals. 

I see no smoke because it is light out still, but I find a burning pyre. IS this it? Nope. I now wander around the coastline looking for him, and what I eventually find is a trail of flowers.  I did not choose any of the heart dialogues with this dude and yet he has still led me to a bed of flower petals and is being all sincere and awkward.  Decisions, decisions.  I reject him, natch, and get some words about Kyra…Is he into Kyra or Alexios? Both? Am I going to have to invite them to my retirement goat commune? Apparently, since Alexios is into him too despite my best efforts. It has been too long since we met the country doctor I guess. Alexios tries to kiss him, but he runs away for a better spot. What is this trickery? I feel like I’m being led into ambush city, but maybe I’m just suspicious. 

Nope, I’m right. He wants to fight with me now because Sparta. See, this. This is why you get no flirts, Thal. (Though, would that have ended with me not having to fight him??? Who knows.) I have no mercy on my third attempt at this fight, because he has killed me twice now. Bro. I thought we were bros.  

Okay, I have bested him finally and we’re bros again. I am sorry, but you desynchronized me, I am not interested for a third time! I am however, now his wing-man  since I advise him that Kyra is his true love after all. He looks sad as he wanders away. Sorry, man. You stabbed me to death! Twice!

 Time to find a new quest. I find a ! and head off in that direction.

There is a dying woman who wants me to kill a bear “Aretmis’s Nightmare”. This doesn’t sound great, I’ll admit. I also learn that you aren’t allowed to die on this island according to the priests. Whew, boy. I’ve got some news for them. 

Waaaait. Is this the bear I already killed? It—it is? And yet my quest is unfulfilled. Did it regenerate? It did. Damn. There is a nearby shipwreck once I tackle the bear for a second time. As it turns out, the woman who asked me to kill it is the one who smuggled it to the island. Hmmm. The plot thickens.

I just agree to keep her secret and that is that. Perhaps the dude she was smuggling the bear for will come into play later, but I’ve already forgotten his name.

Next !

Holy hell. It’s Sokrates. Sokrates is the Elvis / Courfeyrac of Odyssey (He is Everywhere). I suppose I won’t lie to him about my purposes here. It for sure isn’t to hear him speak. Yeahhh, we’re going to get into a discussion. Here’s the deal:

A rebel stole from the temple to finance the rebellion. The authorities want to put him to death for this. (Not on the island, obvs.) Instead of just telling me what he wants, Sokrates poses the question, is this death justice? Sokrates seems to be arguing for the law, but in the end tells me where the dude is being held so I can go save him anyway. Off we go with the promise of perpetual Sokrates knowledge as payment instead of drachmae. Thanks??

It is now an escort mission. The best kind of mission. >insert rolling eyes emoji< For some reason there are absolutely no guards around and I get him out with no troubles despite him yelling his head off in determination to become a martyr. He doesn’t want Athens around, he doesn’t want Sparta around on his island, and he doesn’t care who hears about it. He wants for the rebellion to attack NOW! Against my better judgement, I let him go to Kyra, and instead give Sokrates some shit for not telling me this dude is extremist bananas. We part ways, and I look forward to meeting Sokrates on another different island on the opposite corner of the map.

For now, I’m meeting back up with Kyra. She’s awaiting me on some kind of hunting trip, so I don’t know what that’s all about since what’s his butt is still douching it up around town. In any case, I’m supposed to find her at the alter of Artemis, which is apparently not the altar that is near the gigantic statue of Artemis, because there is nobody up on this hill. Let us consult the actual map again. At least the real altar isn’t too far away.

Kyra is there praying for a good hunt. We have some bantery banter. 

She’s not going to hit on me too is she???

Is there going to be a hunting contest? Because I could use some more goat pelts.

It is, and she is??? Kind of. She thinks there’s vibes between us??? At least she took me out goat hunting to express these feelings. This isn’t nearly as super awkward and fighty as my meeting with Thaletas. Anyway, she loves Thal too, turns out. She’s a rebel, he’s a Spartan. Ahh, the star-crossed lovers. I hope this doesn’t end in a good old ole Greek tragedy. 

Okay, I’ve grown weary of the Silver Islands for now, so we’re going to get Podarkes once and for all! Then we’re going to do the beach battle, and hopefully those crazy kids, Kyra and Thaletas will live happily ever after and leave me alone!

I head to Podarkes house, no distractions this time!

Well… perhaps more distraction is in order in the form of burning up some more supplies to weaken this dudes guards. I try to sneak up on a guy in a room and it turns out Podarkes is also in that room to send up the alarm and also fight me. Everybody chases me and I perish. Time to try again. Maybe this time keep better track of the target?

No. I’m just not ready to tackle this dude apparently. My little quest bubble is telling me I need to weaken the guards by raiding camps and burning supplies over on Delos, but there is nothing there I haven’t done and the status of Athens on the island is already weakened…so I’m not sure what to do.

In frustration, I wander off to do other things, like check my cult family tree to find out I already killed Hermippos, so I totally left that out of my travelouge somehow. This isn’t about him though. I’m going to try and help the Spartans do a battle. Maybe that will help me improve my skillz. Probably not, but I need to regroup again.

Alright! Sparta wins the battle this time.  Easily. Am I getting better at the game? Miracles! The cherry on top of doing this quest is that it Actually…actually…helped majorly with the Podarkes quest. With Athens out of the Silver Islands, Podarkes doesn’t get to live in his fortified fancy house anymore. He only has three guards with him! Not the dozen I was dealing with before. I finally get him alone. For his final words he says he wishes Kyra were here to kill him herself. I don’t give her the chance.

Apparently I don’t get to find out what happens with her or Thaletas either, because there are no further quests and she doesn’t suddenly pop up in a cut scene. Huh. I guess it’s off to the next island! Where I continue to ignore all helpful hints and quests contained in my menu in favor of wandering aimlessly, gathering olive wood. Can’t wait!