THE FACE OF BOE(etia)

I have to talk to a man called Gorgias (who may be this Gorgias?) here in Boeotia. I’m just going to assume this is pronounced like gorgeous before I can hear anybody pronounce it! (Update: it’s not, but I’m still going with it.) After defeating a huntress camp, we find Gorgias in a weirdly modern Read More

Oh, Balls!

I wander around Elis for a while, wreaking havoc on the Athenian forces. When I finally get to the actual Olympic Valley, I’m notified that I shouldn’t get caught doing anything illegal there. Great. We all know how good I am at sneaking and not doing illegal things. There are a bunch of new quests here that I can do before we get back to the story too, so let’s see who wants me to commit crimes so they don’t have to! Read More

Home Sweet Sparta

Since I’ve stumbled my way back into the mom quest, I’ll just continue to look for Phoenix. I finish all the locations on the island first. I do find a sweet bow that turns all my plain arrows into poison arrows. After a minute I realize that this may be too cool of a thing and worry that I have another cursed object. It is not! Hells yeah! Just some sweet loot. nice. I get dressed up in my Sunday best (upgrade my Snake armor) to visit mom. She’s having a meeting of minds about protecting the town that I walk in on. Obviously she’s stunned to see her dead child. Read More

Misfortunate Son

If there is any luck maybe this piratical quest will be less educational than the last one. I am on the Isle of Misfortune today. Doing favours for pirates because I am being extorted by the pirate queen, Xenia. She’s just going to tell me my mom got on a boat and went to some other undisclosed location, isn’t she? I will have run out of clues at this point. Read More

The Cure and the Cult and Demokritos’s Atomic Dustbin

I fast travel to Demokritos and he tells me the tales of three theorems that will lead to great treasure, Zeno’s Paradox, the Pythagorean Theorem—no need to search for that one my dude it’s A² + B² = C². You’re welcome, and thank you, math class. The third one is the Golden Ratio. He says he will pay me for my help. Read More

This is All Alkibiades Fault

Finally: Korinth Recap: Having acquired the feather from that rando lady aka: Athena 4 real, nobody can convince me otherwise, it is now time to see what is the next quest on the agenda! I am off to the Porneion district in Korinth to visit some hetaerae as instructed. Anthousa is my contact, so let’s go find her! I Read More

Alexios vs. the Volcano

It is that time again. Time to do battle over in Hephaistos’s molten island. To what end? I don’t know, because this old lady asked us to I guess. Let us put and end to this quest and see what’s up. Unfortunately, there are no fast travel points anywhere near this island, so off to Read More

Unfinished Business

We are back! Not months and months later for once! Right now, I am questless, so it’s time to search out some more exclamation points and question marks! I find a temple of Posiden which is right next to some dudes practicing thier long jump, which is more like a hop. Are they training for the Read More

Picnics and Pirates

Well, we’re back at it, here in far away, long ago Greece, where I start the game after a long hiatus playing Anthem (don’t @ me). I am finishing up an ice cream sandwich IRL while waiting for things to load up and get immediately assassinated by some bounty hunters, because as it turns out, Read More

Second Verse; Same as the First

Today I do Everything Twice OK, so, Murdery VonTaxation’s name is actually Podarkes, and no, I have not deposed him yet. I’m still helping Kyra with that, and I will now spell her name correctly! Her plan is to steal the national treasure and weaken his forces. She takes me to the fort where the Read More