Search Query Roundup!


I’m am still here!  I’ve been taking a break reading other things and haven’t blogged at you in a while. Mostly because, even though I still have half a book to go, it feels like everybody is about to perish so I’ve been avoiding it and catching up on my reading list.  ( I hope you already knew that and it’s not a spoiler!  If not, can I join you beneath that rock?)

So, to refresh my memory, and because I feel bad for not having all the answers, I’ve trawled through my search query webstats to see what’s bringing people around here and concocted a sort of Q&A.

The rules are: I won’t search anything myself or answer queries for just a character’s name because A. It’s more fun when I have no idea what I’m talking about and B. Most of them are Les Miserables / Dr. Who related searches, and, really, if you don’t know who Courfeyrac is by now, you’re not paying attention. (Because Courfeyrac is everywhere!)

Though, I will give a shout-out for whomever is checking for Royol! (This is Mabeuf’s non-Marius, non-Housekeeping, non-Sultan the Cat friend, aka the bookseller for the record)

Without further ado, the 29 most answerable queries in my webstats!

1. Official TARDIS blue:

I feel like there is probably an official colour, but it hasn’t always been the same one through the years. This unhelpful answer has been brought to you by the colour blue and the letter T.

2. Les Miserables Nun Sleep Coffin:

I share your confusion, searcher. I suspect something is lost in translation, like the melon jackets, the fierce mustaches, and the rash waistcoats, but there’s no way I can be sure unless I wake up tomorrow French and read the original manuscript then research the sleeping habits of nuns in 19th century France. Maybe their beds are called coffins? Their bedrooms are called cells after all. As it stands this particular nun was buried in the coffin she slept in, and I think I’m just going to have to take that at face value.

3. Was Baron Pontmercy right to give up Marius so he could have a bigger inheritance.

Wow, going for the big questions here, I see. I’m afraid there is no definitive answer to that one, my friend. It is pretty much up to you whether or not you think it was right or not. Everybody involved loves Marius and thinks they were doing what was best for him either way. It’s not like Georges kicked the child to the curb and went along his merry bachelor way.

Personally, because I know you searched all of the internet to find out about my personal opinions, I feel that someone is wrong at least, despite intentions. His name begins with “G” and ends with “illenormand” (and his first name is not Théodule) for the record. Not for giving Marius a chance at an upbringing with more opportunity, but did he really have to cut Georges out and badmouth him in front of the kid?

As for Georges, well, he is the one with the fab garden. Take from that what you will.

I have to wonder though, what would Marius have turned out like had he grown up with his dad instead of Grandpa G.? He probably would never have crossed paths with the Eagle of Meaux or been in law school at all or spotted Cosette at the Luxembourg Garden. Just something to ponder for your next search query.

4. Weeping Angel background trick.

Is it sawing a lady in half? Escaping from a straightjacket while submerged in a tank of water? I’m afraid I’m not really up to par on my weeping angles lore. They aren’t my favourite Dr. Who baddies. In fact, they kind of bore me these days. Sorry! Wake me up when the Cheetah People make a comeback.

5. Who is Mother Plutarch in Les Misérables

I know this one! She is Church Warden Mabeuf’s houskeeper! Her cat’s name is Sultan, and they have matching whiskers! (These are the things I remember when I write things down…which is my entire purpose for blogging about this book!)

Also, I think this is the perfect place for me to express my desire for someone to write a fic from the POV of Sultan the cat. It could be like Blitzcat for the July Revolution. (If someone writes this, they better tell me!)
6. For all Paris of America questions, please see the about section!

7. doctor who protest button

*spoilers* This is the from a glorious space whale episode. (Space whales are always glorious and majestic, not the episode necessarily.)

You see after the Earth has become uninhabitable, the human race has taken to the stars upon the backs of space whales. The humans believe these creatures must be controlled by cracking open their whale skulls and zapping them directly in the brain with electricity.

Every year the population views a video about the torture this poor creature must endure and either votes to protest or forget. The protesters get flushed and become space whale food. How humans know that Space Whales will eat people is beyond me. It’s not like they have a ready food supply of them out in space where they lived before they came to Earth.

Anyway, turns out the whales just wanted to help, and we totally didn’t have to brain zap them.

In short, the human race is the worst, and we never ever learn. This seems to be a recurring theme throughout all of history, fictional and non-fictional. (But we will never learn, because we are the worst.)

P.S. Hopefully you found the actual answer to this really vague search in the recap.
8. mademoiselle gillenormand pronunciation of the name

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you already know how to pronounce Mademoiselle. Without looking it up, I’m going to guess Gillenormand probably sounds a lot like it looks, except the D is maybe silent? Am I right? I don’t know. I took German in high school and Double LLs can be tricky. Sometimes they make L sounds, sometimes they make Y sounds, sometimes they sound like whatever that sound is that they’re supposed to sound like at the beginning of a word in Welsh.

Sorry for the lack of help here. On to the next resource where you find an audio clip of someone actually saying Gillenormand!

9. policelady

A female law enforcement officer.
10. what is the relationship between colonel baron pontmercy and m. gillenormand

Hostile.

Just kidding. never got to see them meet in the book, though that might be something interesting to explore. Get on it fic writers of the world! 😉 I imagine there would possibly be a lot of sarcasm and angry cane waving involved. As for the real answer instead of the smartarse one:

Georges married M. Gillenormand’s youngest daughter, who is no longer living and is an entirely different person than the Eldest daughter who lives with him.

Short answer: M. Gillenormand is Colonel Baron Pontmercy’s father-in-law and Marius’s maternal grandfather.
11. les pieds en l’air

Why?

I broke the rule and looked this up because I wanted see if this actually meant shoes in the air like I thought it did. It means feet in the air apparently. I was surprisingly close for someone who doesn’t know a damn lick of French.

Also, after going back and re-reading the last few entries, I now realize that this is also a dude that is in Patron Minette. I am sorry, Bizarro, but your “best nickname” status has now been revoked! I’ll just leave it up to your imagination why this guy has such a name though.

12. She Bit Him

I don’t know what you’re looking for!

13. Guns and Butterflies

Rejected names for that band Slash was in?

14. leaf occasion meaux

I have no idea, but it sounds like some kind of really formal Autumn festival that takes place in Meaux.

15. another word for waistcoat

I think the word you’re looking for is probably vest.
16. judd nelson nostrils

This isn’t really a question. It’s more of a statement of fact. I think I may have unlocked some sort of 80’s nostalgia achievement if this one brought somebody to my website.

17. clear drinks

Water, Sprite, Vodka… Crystal Pepsi?

18. dak dak altar

This is the version of Duck Duck Goose that I play in church.

And a Question from the old archives that I thought I deleted, but apparently didn’t and comments are still open:

19. Which of these happened at the trial Madeleine’s hair turns white he lost the tip of his finger he was unable to speak or his hands become numb and useless.

You guys are just looking for an answers to your homework / take home exams aren’t you? Okay, sure. It’s the first one. Or is it??? 😉

20. Why did Marius keep two suits

I had no idea this was in any way some sort of interesting plot point, because there were a few different searches for this last month. Perhaps I’m missing something deeply symbolic, or this was a question on someone’s homework to make sure they’re actually reading the book, but I just thought he had two suits so he has something to wear if the other one is out of commission for some reason.

He does have a dark green one that he wears for mourning his dad, and I know he’s not happy with that because it’s not appropriately black enough for mourning, so he only goes out at night for some period of time. And there is his best suit he wears to impress Cosette. I’m not sure if this is the same suit though. Other than that, I don’t know.

22. I’ll Black Your Boots

What are things that Grantaire will do for Enjolras?

This category also includes “Anything”.

And I’m pretty sure this has no greater meaning that a literal shoe shine, like he will literally get down on the ground and do whatever menial task this guy will ask him to do which is how I read it. It feels like a some of these things Grantaire says are straddling a line between sarcasm and sincerity. They really could go either way, so read it as you will. I could totally be wrong though, I admit it. I’m going with sincerity, but I’m no scholar so I shall leave it up to you!

23. great napoleon. his life, teenage days how he grew up etc.

Dude, just look this up on Wikipedia, or you know, that building where you can check out books. For free. Like, biographies and stuff. What’s it called? A library?

24. how does marius know the young lady name isn ursula after all

I’m guessing it’s just his conjecture once Valejean gives his name to Thenardier as “Urbaine Fabre” Marius isn’t dumb, and it’s a pretty reasonable assumption, I think.

26. people are crazy love reading lol go fetch gee omg turkey dinner ogre donkey

This feels like a search for some very specific Shrek Thanksgiving Fanfiction or something. Which you will not find here, sorry!

27. what did gillenormand find in a small black box

Georges’s note passing on his title of Baron to Marius.

28. what went wrong with the plan to get jean valjean out of the coffin

Murphy’s Law, man.

29. why was marius shocked when jondrette revealed his identity to m. leblanc

If you will remember, Georges left instruction for him to find and aid in any way possible the man who saved his life at Waterloo. This is Thenardier. Marius had been spending two or five or however many years searching for this man, and it turns out he’d been living next door to the guy the entire time.

That is pretty shocking, I’d have to say.

Also shocking, this supposedly amazing guy that saved his dad, is now attempting to extort and/or murder Cosette’s dad. All in all, this was a particularly rough day for our good friend Marius, probably ranking up there with the time he got kicked out of Grandpa G.’s home and the time Mabeuf told him that his dad wasn’t actually a horrible child abandoning beast monster, or the time he accidentally got Bossuet kicked out of law school, or the other time he got kicked out of his home for not paying rent, or the time he totally embarrassed himself about Napoleon in front of all his new friends…

Wait, has Marius had an actual good days so far?

And that is all!

Hopefully I will be able to get back to reading soon!  I think Marius is finally going to meet Cosette in my next chapter to read, so that should be interesting.

Until next time!

-M